Pick out your seeds before you plant them

Well. This is going to be hard for me to write. I don't know whether it's a shot to my pride, just personal, or difficult for me to admit to myself let alone to the world wide web. I've been mad. Mad as everything. Let's just say I got extremely disappointed by a guy. I think that says it well enough. And I was hurt... and then I was mad. Oh was I mad.
But the fuel to a non-righteous fire runs out pretty quick unless you feed it. And I'm trying pretty hard right now to be fueled by God alone, so the fire of the anger is dying, and I'm graciously receiving God's perspective on the situation. Which, naturally, makes me ashamed (as it always should) but also I'm finding joy in learning and growing and becoming less like me and more like Him.

So, like I said, I got let down pretty hard. And I blamed him and was mad at him for it. I heard this message a couple weeks ago at our college Walk (see blog entitled You are the Light...) and I took a lot away from it. But as I sat in my room and thought about this, God opened my eyes and reminded me of that message, and my ears heard it a little differently this time. Or I guess I should say I heard it more completely.

Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

And taking a look at myself, my life, and what I've learned in the course of this bitter disappointment... I realized that God has shown me a lot about... me. And it's quite clear to me that I am just now reaping from something I've sown... and watered... and tended... throughout my life.

And even in realizing I'm reaping the harvest of my own seeds, I asked myself, is it not justifiable anger? Would God not be mad at someone hurting me? Would God not expect more from a Christian man, just as I would?

Romans 14:4 convicted me of asking this series of questions. This is actually a passage speaking on the strong versus the weak in faith. But looking at it as an illustration, you can see that the point is also taken that everyone is in a different place in their faith and in their relationship with Christ. So the question to ask myself then was, who is Morgan to have expectations of another follower of Christ? Only God has those expectations, and it is not my place to say whether anything should be expected of anyone. All I have to know is that God has accepted all His children who believe, and the Lord will make them all stand, because He is able.

Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

So how can I be mad at someone else whom the Lord has already accepted and loves? I cannot hold anything against him. And how can I be justifiably angry when I am reaping what I know I have sown? I cannot, because I believe in God's word and I know they are the seeds that I have planted. It is motivation to plant new seeds in my life. In order to reap a better, sweeter, more God-glorifying harvest next time. And lastly, it brings me joy to know that my Lord is teaching me to be less like myself and more like Him by mercifully opening my eyes to what He sees in this area of my life.
Thank you, Lord.