In the beginning...

What a start! I mean it's Day 1 of my commitment, and I'm already being attacked by a head cold that developed gradually throughout yesterday. It's hard to see the world through God's perspective when you're grumpy from blocked sinuses, a pressure headache, and possibly a low-grade fever. So I'll admit, getting my heart focused on God today, and not how icky I felt, was a challenge despite the fact that it was Sunday, and I got to hear an awesome sermon on MISSIONS!!! It's mission-fest at our church in the month of February, which is possibly my favorite season (if you can qualify it as a season; I do). I know God is trying to speak to my heart on this, but that's going to have to be the topic of another post because it's not completely clear to me in this moment what exactly He is saying. I look forward to the clarity of it, however.

So, anyway, today I went to lunch with my best friend, who I am seeing less and less of. We've both got big girl jobs, you know. And it is always so encouraging to sit down with someone God has placed in your life and be able to share yourself unguardedly and talk about what God is doing (or talk about wondering what in the world is God doing?) During our lunch together, I was telling her about this blog, and the way I've planned to commit myself to the Lord this month; I knew she would be a partner in my accountability with this. She looked at me and said, "That is going to be really hard, but I think it's an awesome idea." We agreed on the difficulty of setting one's heart on the Lord's perspective every single day.
Already, God is speaking to me about this. It's Day 1 of my commitment to Him, and He has compelled me to search my heart and make certain that my motives are pure. I've been praying about this for a couple of weeks now, and I realized, I was praying more for the blog and worrying about whether I would be able to focus enough to see what He wants me to write instead of praying for my relationship with Him to grow through it all! I feel certain that God is calling me to this task. I've committed myself to it. However, I got excited about the idea of it, and God quickly called me to remember why I am doing this.
I am NOT doing this for the purpose of making myself a better person. It is NOT to improve my character. It is NOT for the purpose of looking good to the people who read this blog. And it is not even for the purpose of seeking God's will for my life.


I made this commitment because I was overwhelmed by worry and anxiety, and not consuming myself enough with my Lord. I made this commitment because I want to further devote my life to Him because of my love for Him. And because I desire to build up my relationship with Him. I made this commitment in order to focus on Him. To have more of Him in my life, and less of me.

And that is why I request prayers for a humble heart. I do not want pride to sneak in and try to take over. This is not for myself, and it is not for you. I am devoting myself to knowing more the One who creates, commands, and cares for all things. I am doing it with a right spirit and a pure heart. And I am doing it to bring glory to Him through my life.

Praise Jesus for calling me to this task.