Hey Friends and Accountability partners!! :-)
I've started a new blog! It's at www.getupandstand.blogspot.com.
Check it out and keep following me there.
God bless!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
It's certainly not the end
It's beautiful that I can sit down to type this and see how things have fallen into place, which was only made possible by the gracious hand of God.
I was out of town yesterday afternoon until tonight. I went to Nashville with some girlfriends and we had a bachelorette party for a friend who's getting married soon. Consequently, I didn't have the time or at least I suppose I didn't make the time to post yesterday.
So I'm looking back at my very first post and my last post, and I re-read over a few others as well in order to reflect on the month and all God has shown me. Several overriding themes were very clear to me. Themes I could definitely identify without even looking back because it's been so evident that God was trying to bring these things to my attention.
-Patience: God has more than moved me to wait on Him in silence, to listen and learn contently and expectantly.
-God's Love: He has provided me with so much love and comfort through a difficult transition in my life and through some personal life experiences. I've just been overwhelmed with God's presence during this time of focus and completely saturated and in awe of His love and mercy and forgiveness.
-Love for one another: My Lord is teaching me to love people the way He does. To look at people through His eyes and not through circumstances.
-Revelation 2:3-5: God set me on fire, allowed me to witness passion and spiritual exhaustion in other people's lives, and reminded me to turn back to my first love. He's taught me not to lean on people, but to lean on Him and seek counsel from Him first. And to remember why I love and serve the God that I do.
-Selfishness: Less of Morgan and her limited capabilities and more of God and His almighty power. It's all about Him.
-Life Verse: Acts 26:16-18 -- I cannot be silent about what I have seen and heard from my Lord. I refuse to sit quietly. I will get up and stand on my feet, and I know that He will hold me and give me strength unwaveringly. My life is devoted to "shine you, Lord" so that the world may open their eyes and see and turn from sin and be saved and receive Your power, just as You have so mercifully allowed me to do.
"Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you. I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.'"
It was also obvious to me that I ended on that last post when I did so that my attention would be called to the difference of the perspective I saw there in comparison to my first post.
-From "Getting down to Basics"
"At first I wondered, is that a lot to ask from God? Then I cringed at my own ignorance and realized that for Him it's probably as simple as something close to brushing your teeth. It's for me that it's a lot to ask -- That my sinful heart could go 28 days without being prideful, self-seeking, envious, eh I could go on, but you get my drift..."
AND....
-From "It's NOT a cliche -- I really can do ALL things!!"
Sometimes I say -- I don't doubt God, I just doubt myself. This is 1 of 2 things: a lie with the underlying notion that I do doubt God's power, or a personal belief which reveals that I think my abilities to accomplish tasks are above God's own.
I took on this endeavor as a call from my Lord. I began it in my own strength -- thinking that whether I could accomplish it fully was up to me. Now I see that I have doubted God's Almighty Power by doubting myself. I can no longer use this as an excuse not to give myself up fully to Him.
And lastly, my devotional for today sums it up:
Luke 18 -- the story of the blind man
38 And he cried out, saying, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” 39 Then those who went before warned him that he should be quiet; but he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” 40 So Jesus stood still and commanded him to be brought to Him. And when he had come near, He asked him, 41 saying, “What do you want Me to do for you?” He said, “Lord, that I may receive my sight.” 42 Then Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has made you well.”
I feel kind of like the blind man. I cried out to God. I asked him for sight -- through His eyes -- and He certainly provided in ways I never even imagined. This month it has truly been a blessing to focus on my Lord and Savior and learn of His strength and love and might.
So I asked myself the question, What's Next? Am I going to continue to blog?
I think I will follow in the blind man's.... er, well, the seeing man's shoes....
43 And immediately he received his sight, and followed Him, glorifying God. And all the people, when they saw it, gave praise to God.
I will continue following my one, true Savior, wherever He leads, and attempt to glorify Him in any and every way possible. And my prayer is that the world will see it, and they will praise God for what He has done.
Thank you for your accountability, and most of all for your prayers. I hope what God has done here has encouraged you in some way.
And if you feel led, stay tuned, because this is certainly not the end....
Thursday, February 26, 2009
It's NOT a cliche' -- I really can do ALL things!!
I often look at pastors and teachers and think, wow, I'll never have the discipline to memorize all those passages of Scripture, or I would never be able to prepare myself for so many sermons to travel and speak like he does. I thought that just this weekend about our D*Now speaker. I remember thinking how I would fall behind on my quiet time and slack on spending time in my relationship with God eventually, and I'd never be able to keep up with the discipline of close and daily communication with God that it takes to be a preacher or a traveling speaker or revival leader, etc.
It's the same as saying, I could never do that job because it requires some skill that I don't have... such as cooking, speaking another language, playing a sport well, being in front of a crowd or being a leader, being humble and working behind the scenes, or writing eloquently, maybe doing lots of paperwork, flying. I dunno, just throwing those out there because I think they may be pretty common.
But today I was faced with the conviction that saying I am not able to do something because I don't have the skill or ability is the same thing as saying... my abilities are above God's, and if I can't do it or if the Father didn't already gift me with it, then God surely won't be able to help me to do it now.
That's all backwards. If I don't have the skill, the ability, the experience, the nerve, the whatever to get the job done, well that comes first. Ok, I've exhausted me, so what? I just give up? No no no no no no no.... then steps in.... GOD. When I'm all out of capability, God gives me power through His Spirit to do any thing and all things.
Sometimes I say -- I don't doubt God, I just doubt myself. This is 1 of 2 things: a lie with the underlying notion that I do doubt God's power, or a personal belief which reveals that I think my abilities to accomplish tasks are above God's own.
Here's an open confession pertaining to this subject. They are not my words, but I was convicted and intend to make them my own words more than once in prayer:
"Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilites, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it."
-from my purple book
It's the same as saying, I could never do that job because it requires some skill that I don't have... such as cooking, speaking another language, playing a sport well, being in front of a crowd or being a leader, being humble and working behind the scenes, or writing eloquently, maybe doing lots of paperwork, flying. I dunno, just throwing those out there because I think they may be pretty common.
But today I was faced with the conviction that saying I am not able to do something because I don't have the skill or ability is the same thing as saying... my abilities are above God's, and if I can't do it or if the Father didn't already gift me with it, then God surely won't be able to help me to do it now.
That's all backwards. If I don't have the skill, the ability, the experience, the nerve, the whatever to get the job done, well that comes first. Ok, I've exhausted me, so what? I just give up? No no no no no no no.... then steps in.... GOD. When I'm all out of capability, God gives me power through His Spirit to do any thing and all things.
Sometimes I say -- I don't doubt God, I just doubt myself. This is 1 of 2 things: a lie with the underlying notion that I do doubt God's power, or a personal belief which reveals that I think my abilities to accomplish tasks are above God's own.
Here's an open confession pertaining to this subject. They are not my words, but I was convicted and intend to make them my own words more than once in prayer:
"Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilites, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it."
-from my purple book
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Jesus is my Rock
For the first time today, in my almost 8 years of driving, a rock flew into my windshield and cracked it. Of course, I called my dad 'cause I had no idea what to do :-) hahaha
Then I text my roommate to share the bad news. No idea where to take my car, no idea how much it's going to cost or if insurance will cover it, first rock ever to break my windshield and of course it had to be my new car :-(
But in spite of this yucky incident, I knew it wasn't going to be something that would ruin my day. I thought, it's just a little thing and there's nothing I can really do about it. I think I would be surprised at how many people might let something like this put them in a bad mood. But I was pleasantly surprised at how easy I realized it was going to be for me to brush it aside, financially absorbing as it might be later on. It reminded me of one of the principles we addressed at Disciple Now this weekend -- stressing to the girls how our lives display Christ to others so often by the way we handle situations.
Of course, I was in my car by myself, and thinking, "What did that happen for, God?" No one is witnessing my calm reaction. No one is here to hear that I didn't curse or get upset.
You might be thinking, "How silly of her to think God is in control of a tiny rock hitting her windshield! Why, that's just a little thing which happens in life that God doesn't care so much about..."
Go ahead and think that. I did! At first.
Then I remembered how deep and wide and all-encompassing is the vision of our God. How he sees from beginning to end and created all things to work out His plan (everything is under his control). And I thought of the repair shop or car dealership or wherever that cracked windshield may take me later on. And of the people I'll meet when I'm there. And how I might affect their lives at that time, if my heart is prepared for opportunities and I am willing to be used by my Lord.
So, who knows what future opportunity that tiny rock has placed in my life?! But I do know Who placed that rock in my life. And that's how I am able to handle a situation like this with grace. Because He gives me more grace.
Then I text my roommate to share the bad news. No idea where to take my car, no idea how much it's going to cost or if insurance will cover it, first rock ever to break my windshield and of course it had to be my new car :-(
But in spite of this yucky incident, I knew it wasn't going to be something that would ruin my day. I thought, it's just a little thing and there's nothing I can really do about it. I think I would be surprised at how many people might let something like this put them in a bad mood. But I was pleasantly surprised at how easy I realized it was going to be for me to brush it aside, financially absorbing as it might be later on. It reminded me of one of the principles we addressed at Disciple Now this weekend -- stressing to the girls how our lives display Christ to others so often by the way we handle situations.
Of course, I was in my car by myself, and thinking, "What did that happen for, God?" No one is witnessing my calm reaction. No one is here to hear that I didn't curse or get upset.
You might be thinking, "How silly of her to think God is in control of a tiny rock hitting her windshield! Why, that's just a little thing which happens in life that God doesn't care so much about..."
Go ahead and think that. I did! At first.
Then I remembered how deep and wide and all-encompassing is the vision of our God. How he sees from beginning to end and created all things to work out His plan (everything is under his control). And I thought of the repair shop or car dealership or wherever that cracked windshield may take me later on. And of the people I'll meet when I'm there. And how I might affect their lives at that time, if my heart is prepared for opportunities and I am willing to be used by my Lord.
So, who knows what future opportunity that tiny rock has placed in my life?! But I do know Who placed that rock in my life. And that's how I am able to handle a situation like this with grace. Because He gives me more grace.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Trying to be still
Man, I had this whole thing halfway typed up, and it was this really cool comparison of the words endure and persevere which I was enjoying, but it just wasn't flowing out of me like it should, and so I had to stop and delete it all.
I think God wants me to share something a little different with you tonight. Maybe He'll allow me to come back to that other topic later on. But more importantly, forward with what He has in mind.
Our message at the Walk tonight is one that I've heard before. Our underlying theme is seeking God's will in relationships, but Tim really hit on seeking God's will as a whole. Let me lay the background of the sermon down for you, and then I'll tell you how God really convicted me through this message I was already familiar with.
There are 3 different routes, so to speak, for the Will of God.
1. His Sovereign Will -- this is God's will which He will accomplish no matter what. ie. Things like sending Jesus to die on the cross, creating and instituting the church to spread Christ's message, and judgment day which will come for all. This Will cannot be changed, and we don't have to pray for it to happen, because it's going to regardless. God's Sovereign will is, however, done through people, which is why it's important to be familiar with it.
2. His Moral Will -- this is God's instructions to us in the Bible on doing right and wrong. No question about it. There's no need to ask God about what He's already commanded us to do. ie. We don't have to pray whether we should have premarital sex or whether it's ok to kill that guy that sits next to you and drives you crazy. And we know without asking that we should read His word and pray for others.
3. His Personal Will -- this is the one we all wanna know, right? Bingo. This is the one that we continually ask God about. ie. What job should I take? Who should I marry? Should I have another child? Should I go to a different church? etc....
Summary statement: The more familiar you are with God's sovereign will and the more obedient you are to God's moral will, the easier it is to see and know God's personal will for your life.
It's only when we make our pursuit of God #1 that everything else will fall into place; He will take care of the details.
Like I said, I've heard this message before, and it's a great message. It puts God's will into a much clearer perspective, and offers a really simple formula for understanding and knowing what He personally wants for my life.
But here's the power statement, the punch line, the kicker that convicted my heart at the end of this sermon. Pay attention now:
The true problem is that we want to know God's personal will for our lives, but we have no desire to learn about His sovereign will and little concern for being obedient to His moral will.
Oh man did that speak to me. It is so right. This is exactly where I was not so long ago.
God, do you want me to take this job? God, do you want me to stay in this job? Should I drop everything and serve You in missions? Should I date this person? Should I leave this city and attend seminary?
Those are all "personal will" questions that I was asking God over and over. But I was less concerned with becoming familiar or being obedient. I told you, God has me in this period of waiting for a reason... many reasons, it looks like.... and it's becoming more obvious to me as He continues to speak to me and encourage me to spend time with Him, focus on Him, and fall more in love with Him, and Him alone.
I am without doubt that one of His main purposes for giving me the idea of this blog was to show me just how much I needed to learn to be still and know that He is God.
I think God wants me to share something a little different with you tonight. Maybe He'll allow me to come back to that other topic later on. But more importantly, forward with what He has in mind.
Our message at the Walk tonight is one that I've heard before. Our underlying theme is seeking God's will in relationships, but Tim really hit on seeking God's will as a whole. Let me lay the background of the sermon down for you, and then I'll tell you how God really convicted me through this message I was already familiar with.
There are 3 different routes, so to speak, for the Will of God.
1. His Sovereign Will -- this is God's will which He will accomplish no matter what. ie. Things like sending Jesus to die on the cross, creating and instituting the church to spread Christ's message, and judgment day which will come for all. This Will cannot be changed, and we don't have to pray for it to happen, because it's going to regardless. God's Sovereign will is, however, done through people, which is why it's important to be familiar with it.
2. His Moral Will -- this is God's instructions to us in the Bible on doing right and wrong. No question about it. There's no need to ask God about what He's already commanded us to do. ie. We don't have to pray whether we should have premarital sex or whether it's ok to kill that guy that sits next to you and drives you crazy. And we know without asking that we should read His word and pray for others.
3. His Personal Will -- this is the one we all wanna know, right? Bingo. This is the one that we continually ask God about. ie. What job should I take? Who should I marry? Should I have another child? Should I go to a different church? etc....
Summary statement: The more familiar you are with God's sovereign will and the more obedient you are to God's moral will, the easier it is to see and know God's personal will for your life.
It's only when we make our pursuit of God #1 that everything else will fall into place; He will take care of the details.
Like I said, I've heard this message before, and it's a great message. It puts God's will into a much clearer perspective, and offers a really simple formula for understanding and knowing what He personally wants for my life.
But here's the power statement, the punch line, the kicker that convicted my heart at the end of this sermon. Pay attention now:
The true problem is that we want to know God's personal will for our lives, but we have no desire to learn about His sovereign will and little concern for being obedient to His moral will.
Oh man did that speak to me. It is so right. This is exactly where I was not so long ago.
God, do you want me to take this job? God, do you want me to stay in this job? Should I drop everything and serve You in missions? Should I date this person? Should I leave this city and attend seminary?
Those are all "personal will" questions that I was asking God over and over. But I was less concerned with becoming familiar or being obedient. I told you, God has me in this period of waiting for a reason... many reasons, it looks like.... and it's becoming more obvious to me as He continues to speak to me and encourage me to spend time with Him, focus on Him, and fall more in love with Him, and Him alone.
I am without doubt that one of His main purposes for giving me the idea of this blog was to show me just how much I needed to learn to be still and know that He is God.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Analogies
I read somewhere that we learn through analogies. Because we cannot fathom what we have not experienced, our human mind must compare what we have experienced to what we have not in order to comprehend.
For example, if you have never had your leg cut off, you have no idea what that would feel like. You can try to imagine, but you wouldn't really be able to comprehend what that pain would feel like (at least, I imagine it would be painful!) But if I were to tell you that getting your leg cut off felt like when your whole leg falls asleep after you've been sitting on it for 20 minutes or so and the whole thing is tingly and painful especially to touch. OK, I'm pretty sure it doesn't feel like that, but now you can imagine what it might be like to get your leg cut off, right?
So that's not the best analogy, but you get the drift.
This analogy is something I witnessed this weekend, and I want to share it with you.
We woke up Saturday morning to a white landscape and about an inch maybe two of snow. Everything, the brown ugliness of winter had been completely visible the day before. Now it was completely covered. Hidden by a beautiful, pure blanket of cold, white snow.
Just like the hideousness of our sin is so visible. And Jesus' blood covers it all. Completely hiding it from the eyes of God. And so all He sees is that beautiful, pure, white righteousness that covers His child. Our sin is invisible to God because of the forgiveness He provides. And the grace He gives as a gift, in exchange for nothing, that allows us to be close to Him, no longer separated from Him by sin.
Listen to this song.
Now I want to share with you a perspective, an attitude, that I learned this weekend and that I choose to develop and use in my own life.
Our Disciple Now speaker, Jay Lowder, made this statement about an experience he went through at some point in his life. I don't remember the experience, but the quote is the main point here.
He said, "God allowed me to go through that so later I could better understand this part of Scripture."
Honestly, I don't know what part of Scripture he was talking about either. The important part is that God understands that our minds are so finite and that we comprehend experientally. So God allows us to experience in order that we may place life in analogical terms and comprehend.
Whatever you're going through, whatever you're going to face in the future, and whatever has certainly happened to you in the past -- it was all because of God. He certainly was the author of your life. And it happened because He planned it. And He planned it so that you would understand Him better.
So next time I'm going through a difficult time. A joyous time. A period of waiting (ie. right now). I'm going to remember that God is allowing me to go through it so that later when I open up to a passage of Scripture, I can better comprehend the ridicule that Paul experienced, the physical pain that Christ endured, the joy with which David sang the Psalms, the awe and wonder that filled the disciples when they witnessed Christ perform miracles, the usefulness the boy felt when Jesus handed out his basket of loaves and fish, the shame that struck Peter when he denied his Lord and broke his promise, the jealousy God has for me...
For example, if you have never had your leg cut off, you have no idea what that would feel like. You can try to imagine, but you wouldn't really be able to comprehend what that pain would feel like (at least, I imagine it would be painful!) But if I were to tell you that getting your leg cut off felt like when your whole leg falls asleep after you've been sitting on it for 20 minutes or so and the whole thing is tingly and painful especially to touch. OK, I'm pretty sure it doesn't feel like that, but now you can imagine what it might be like to get your leg cut off, right?
So that's not the best analogy, but you get the drift.
This analogy is something I witnessed this weekend, and I want to share it with you.
We woke up Saturday morning to a white landscape and about an inch maybe two of snow. Everything, the brown ugliness of winter had been completely visible the day before. Now it was completely covered. Hidden by a beautiful, pure blanket of cold, white snow.
Just like the hideousness of our sin is so visible. And Jesus' blood covers it all. Completely hiding it from the eyes of God. And so all He sees is that beautiful, pure, white righteousness that covers His child. Our sin is invisible to God because of the forgiveness He provides. And the grace He gives as a gift, in exchange for nothing, that allows us to be close to Him, no longer separated from Him by sin.
Listen to this song.
Now I want to share with you a perspective, an attitude, that I learned this weekend and that I choose to develop and use in my own life.
Our Disciple Now speaker, Jay Lowder, made this statement about an experience he went through at some point in his life. I don't remember the experience, but the quote is the main point here.
He said, "God allowed me to go through that so later I could better understand this part of Scripture."
Honestly, I don't know what part of Scripture he was talking about either. The important part is that God understands that our minds are so finite and that we comprehend experientally. So God allows us to experience in order that we may place life in analogical terms and comprehend.
Whatever you're going through, whatever you're going to face in the future, and whatever has certainly happened to you in the past -- it was all because of God. He certainly was the author of your life. And it happened because He planned it. And He planned it so that you would understand Him better.
So next time I'm going through a difficult time. A joyous time. A period of waiting (ie. right now). I'm going to remember that God is allowing me to go through it so that later when I open up to a passage of Scripture, I can better comprehend the ridicule that Paul experienced, the physical pain that Christ endured, the joy with which David sang the Psalms, the awe and wonder that filled the disciples when they witnessed Christ perform miracles, the usefulness the boy felt when Jesus handed out his basket of loaves and fish, the shame that struck Peter when he denied his Lord and broke his promise, the jealousy God has for me...
Making up for lost posts...
So this was an AMAZING weekend. Disciple Now is definitely one of my favorite events to serve in the church. I spent the weekend with my friend Natalie and seven 10th grade girls learning about Jesus and experiencing the Holy Spirit working like WOAH! By the end of the weekend we saw over 60 kids make a decision to follow Christ fully with their lives, and on Sunday night 20+ got baptized in our church service as a public expression of their faith and commitment to follow Jesus Christ!! Can I get an AMEN?!
So there's no way I can express to you the AWEsomeness of God that I experienced during this entire weekend, but I can highlight a few things he showed/taught me. And that's what I'm gonna do.
First of all, let me say that I was excited... I mean, really pumped... about this weekend. I told you I didn't get off to a good start. First I was proud and thought "Hey I got this. Fourth consecutive year at DNOW." Then I realized I had not prepped myself spiritually the way I should have. So I felt unprepared, which led to feeling incapable. YIKES. Satan attacked hard in those 24 hours before the weekend began. I humbled myself enough to pray to God about it, but let me just say that not preparing myself spiritually did affect me. I had to surrender so hard, more than once, to get out of the way and just be a vessel of God. Morgan was all up in the way. I got frustrated. I couldn't figure out what to say. Couldn't figure out how to lead the girls. Then I had to "let go, and let God." Whew, and good thing, too! So I asked Him, over and over, whenever I felt I might be trying to have control, Lord let there be less of me and more of You. Use me as Your vessel, the glove on Your hand, and speak through me. Get Morgan out of the way and let Your Spirit guide me and control me.
And He heard my plea and allowed me to be a tool in His plan. And He filled me with the energy to get through the weekend (cause you don't get much sleep when you spend 3 days with 10th grade girls ;-)!!)
How humbling to be shown that I cannot, indeed, do it on my own.
So there's no way I can express to you the AWEsomeness of God that I experienced during this entire weekend, but I can highlight a few things he showed/taught me. And that's what I'm gonna do.
First of all, let me say that I was excited... I mean, really pumped... about this weekend. I told you I didn't get off to a good start. First I was proud and thought "Hey I got this. Fourth consecutive year at DNOW." Then I realized I had not prepped myself spiritually the way I should have. So I felt unprepared, which led to feeling incapable. YIKES. Satan attacked hard in those 24 hours before the weekend began. I humbled myself enough to pray to God about it, but let me just say that not preparing myself spiritually did affect me. I had to surrender so hard, more than once, to get out of the way and just be a vessel of God. Morgan was all up in the way. I got frustrated. I couldn't figure out what to say. Couldn't figure out how to lead the girls. Then I had to "let go, and let God." Whew, and good thing, too! So I asked Him, over and over, whenever I felt I might be trying to have control, Lord let there be less of me and more of You. Use me as Your vessel, the glove on Your hand, and speak through me. Get Morgan out of the way and let Your Spirit guide me and control me.
And He heard my plea and allowed me to be a tool in His plan. And He filled me with the energy to get through the weekend (cause you don't get much sleep when you spend 3 days with 10th grade girls ;-)!!)
How humbling to be shown that I cannot, indeed, do it on my own.
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