So I'm leading a Disciple Now group with my friend Natalie this weekend at my church. I'm really mad at myself because I got so busy preparing myself by getting all my work for the week done that I didn't make time to prepare myself spiritually. I didn't set aside enough time. Not very glorifying. Aarrgghh. Sooo I'm a little frustrated with myself, but I know God will use me if I surrender. I'll take advantage of the time I have tomorrow to be in prayer about the weekend, and you can help me out with that, too.
I have a group of high school girls. I'm sure I'll get ministered to by them, but pray that their hearts are in preparation to hear the messages that Jay Lowder will present to them. Pray that the Holy Spirit will enable them to understand God's word as it is presented. And that they will be willing to share as we are all called to do.
Also for me and Natalie, pray that God creates a chemistry with us and our group that is glorifying to Him. Pray that He will use us to speak His word in a way that high school girls can understand. And pray that we are sensitive to the individual needs each of the girls we'll be with this weekend.
I know that's a pretty lofty list, but if you'll pick one or two of those and say a prayer once or twice on it, it would be so powerful and it would mean so much to me.
So the theme is "The Big Show" and I'm sure God will show up the only way He ever does -- BIG. I don't know that I'll be able to post what I see over the weekend, but I'll be sure to come back Sunday and fill you in on what He's working on. I know it will be an incredible weekend (and tiring, in the good way!) so I'm extremely excited, and I thank you ahead of time for your prayers.
I'm gonna go try to please God with my prayers on this, since I did such a poor job preparing myself with the material today.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
A break in the clouds
Then there came a voice from above the expanse over their heads as they stood with lowered wings. Above the expanse over their heads was what looked like a throne of sapphire, and high above on the throne was a figure like that of a man. I saw that from what appeared to be his waist up he looked like glowing metal, as if full of fire, and that from there down he looked like fire; and brilliant light surrounded him. Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him.
This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking.
-Ezekiel 1:25-28
I just want to share with you something beautiful that I saw today that just put me in awe of God. It was coming a completely massive flood on me driving to a county an hour north of here and the clouds were literally so low that I thought they might sit on top of my head. I looked up and felt like a thick bed comforter (a cold, wet one) was blanketing the world and trying to shut us out from anything Heaven-ward. Of course that's just silliness because God is in this world and nothing can block Him out.
So I drove a little farther and a break in the clouds allowed a wide band of amazingly blue sky to blaze through and catch my eyes, briefly until they went right back to the road! ;-) jk jk
Soon enough I reached the strip of road where the sun behind me beamed out through the band of blue and projected its light and warmth on the landscape in front of me. And a dazzling rainbow shot out of the mist in front of me so close I literally thought I might reach out the windshield and grab a piece of it to keep forever. I was driving on a divided highway, and I'm not even lying, the rainbow arched from the right side of the road directly over the highway in front of me and landed its left side on the pavement on the opposite side of the dividing grass. I've never been so close to something I imagined was so... un-reachable. Hillsong The Stand was playing on my iPod, and I had to lift my hand that wasn't holding the wheel in praise and awe of my God and the beauty that He comes up with!
It must be at least somewhat close to what Ezekiel experienced in the presence of the Lord... coming so close to something you see as so far away, despite that you try to make it real and tangible to your mind every day.
I also like that this verse describes the radiance as a rainbow. I stared in awe of that radiance today, only to discover that Ezekiel describes the radiance surrounding the Lord in the same way. AWE-some!! Something I can grasp, wrap my mind around!
This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking.
-Ezekiel 1:25-28
I just want to share with you something beautiful that I saw today that just put me in awe of God. It was coming a completely massive flood on me driving to a county an hour north of here and the clouds were literally so low that I thought they might sit on top of my head. I looked up and felt like a thick bed comforter (a cold, wet one) was blanketing the world and trying to shut us out from anything Heaven-ward. Of course that's just silliness because God is in this world and nothing can block Him out.
So I drove a little farther and a break in the clouds allowed a wide band of amazingly blue sky to blaze through and catch my eyes, briefly until they went right back to the road! ;-) jk jk
Soon enough I reached the strip of road where the sun behind me beamed out through the band of blue and projected its light and warmth on the landscape in front of me. And a dazzling rainbow shot out of the mist in front of me so close I literally thought I might reach out the windshield and grab a piece of it to keep forever. I was driving on a divided highway, and I'm not even lying, the rainbow arched from the right side of the road directly over the highway in front of me and landed its left side on the pavement on the opposite side of the dividing grass. I've never been so close to something I imagined was so... un-reachable. Hillsong The Stand was playing on my iPod, and I had to lift my hand that wasn't holding the wheel in praise and awe of my God and the beauty that He comes up with!
It must be at least somewhat close to what Ezekiel experienced in the presence of the Lord... coming so close to something you see as so far away, despite that you try to make it real and tangible to your mind every day.
I also like that this verse describes the radiance as a rainbow. I stared in awe of that radiance today, only to discover that Ezekiel describes the radiance surrounding the Lord in the same way. AWE-some!! Something I can grasp, wrap my mind around!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
1 John 4
All I can think about is God's love. I can't form the right words to tell you how I'm feeling, except that if you know what God's love is like, you understand.
He is jealous for me.
I talked with a couple of my sisters in Christ about this tonight. (Also the topic of my post "Green with Jealousy.")
There is a void in every person's heart that Christ alone can fill. We, as women, try to stick men in that hole. We try to put friendships and relationships there. We even try to exercise or tan or diet to make our bodies look good so we can love ourselves in order to fill that void.
But God says stop it. Nothing will make that yearning for love and affection go away -- not a marriage, not a diet, not a best friend, not a new baby, not a mom or a dad. All these things might come close, temporarily. But it just ain't happenin' in the long run.
And the beautiful part is that God's not going to let that void be filled. Because it's His place in your heart. It's His place in my heart. And He says no, ma'am I'm not letting any flawed person or thing take My place in that hole because that will leave you wounded, daughter! But God can fill that void in our lives in a way that is satisfying, that does satiate that horrible, nagging, longing feeling and never leaves you feeling alone or lacking or let down. And He wants to.
But as long as we try to put other things in God's place, we will not be content. God won't let us be. Because He is a jealous God, thankfully.
And when we do fill that void with Him, and we are complete, there is nothing that can disappoint. When we are seated in Christ and focused on Him and He is dwelling in our hearts, no amount of depression or grief or disappointment or angry bitterness can defeat us because He will enable us with the Spirit to get past whatever it is we are struggling against.
This is God's love dwelling in us, and this is what I cannot get off my mind. So many things around me right now are speaking of it, and I want to just listen.
God, let me know more fully Your love and its power in my life and the lives of others.
He is jealous for me.
I talked with a couple of my sisters in Christ about this tonight. (Also the topic of my post "Green with Jealousy.")
There is a void in every person's heart that Christ alone can fill. We, as women, try to stick men in that hole. We try to put friendships and relationships there. We even try to exercise or tan or diet to make our bodies look good so we can love ourselves in order to fill that void.
But God says stop it. Nothing will make that yearning for love and affection go away -- not a marriage, not a diet, not a best friend, not a new baby, not a mom or a dad. All these things might come close, temporarily. But it just ain't happenin' in the long run.
And the beautiful part is that God's not going to let that void be filled. Because it's His place in your heart. It's His place in my heart. And He says no, ma'am I'm not letting any flawed person or thing take My place in that hole because that will leave you wounded, daughter! But God can fill that void in our lives in a way that is satisfying, that does satiate that horrible, nagging, longing feeling and never leaves you feeling alone or lacking or let down. And He wants to.
But as long as we try to put other things in God's place, we will not be content. God won't let us be. Because He is a jealous God, thankfully.
And when we do fill that void with Him, and we are complete, there is nothing that can disappoint. When we are seated in Christ and focused on Him and He is dwelling in our hearts, no amount of depression or grief or disappointment or angry bitterness can defeat us because He will enable us with the Spirit to get past whatever it is we are struggling against.
This is God's love dwelling in us, and this is what I cannot get off my mind. So many things around me right now are speaking of it, and I want to just listen.
God, let me know more fully Your love and its power in my life and the lives of others.
Monday, February 16, 2009
How do I love thee?
- I love Morgan.
- I get mad at Morgan sometimes, but I get over it.
- I understand Morgan's motives most of the time, but every now and then I don't really get Morgan. However, I always get over that and move on to loving Morgan again.
- I constantly learn new things about Morgan. Praise God, because He opens my eyes to who Morgan is inside and allows me to see Morgan's heart.
- I know Morgan has faults and Morgan messes up and Morgan does things wrong. I know Morgan doesn't even always see that Morgan does things wrong. But I still love Morgan despite that.
- Sometimes I do things that hurt Morgan. And then I have trouble forgiving Morgan, but I never really stop loving Morgan.
- Fact is, I love Morgan unconditionally. I don't think anything could ever make me stop loving Morgan, because I wouldn't really know how to stop loving Morgan, truth be told. I just do it because that's the way God created me.
And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
-Matthew 22:39
After reading this verse, I asked myself, "How do I really love myself?" And looked at it as this is how I should love others.
How do you love yourself? Think about it like I did. And replace your name with the name of someone you struggle to love.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Pick out your seeds before you plant them
Well. This is going to be hard for me to write. I don't know whether it's a shot to my pride, just personal, or difficult for me to admit to myself let alone to the world wide web. I've been mad. Mad as everything. Let's just say I got extremely disappointed by a guy. I think that says it well enough. And I was hurt... and then I was mad. Oh was I mad.
But the fuel to a non-righteous fire runs out pretty quick unless you feed it. And I'm trying pretty hard right now to be fueled by God alone, so the fire of the anger is dying, and I'm graciously receiving God's perspective on the situation. Which, naturally, makes me ashamed (as it always should) but also I'm finding joy in learning and growing and becoming less like me and more like Him.
So, like I said, I got let down pretty hard. And I blamed him and was mad at him for it. I heard this message a couple weeks ago at our college Walk (see blog entitled You are the Light...) and I took a lot away from it. But as I sat in my room and thought about this, God opened my eyes and reminded me of that message, and my ears heard it a little differently this time. Or I guess I should say I heard it more completely.
Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
And taking a look at myself, my life, and what I've learned in the course of this bitter disappointment... I realized that God has shown me a lot about... me. And it's quite clear to me that I am just now reaping from something I've sown... and watered... and tended... throughout my life.
And even in realizing I'm reaping the harvest of my own seeds, I asked myself, is it not justifiable anger? Would God not be mad at someone hurting me? Would God not expect more from a Christian man, just as I would?
Romans 14:4 convicted me of asking this series of questions. This is actually a passage speaking on the strong versus the weak in faith. But looking at it as an illustration, you can see that the point is also taken that everyone is in a different place in their faith and in their relationship with Christ. So the question to ask myself then was, who is Morgan to have expectations of another follower of Christ? Only God has those expectations, and it is not my place to say whether anything should be expected of anyone. All I have to know is that God has accepted all His children who believe, and the Lord will make them all stand, because He is able.
Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
So how can I be mad at someone else whom the Lord has already accepted and loves? I cannot hold anything against him. And how can I be justifiably angry when I am reaping what I know I have sown? I cannot, because I believe in God's word and I know they are the seeds that I have planted. It is motivation to plant new seeds in my life. In order to reap a better, sweeter, more God-glorifying harvest next time. And lastly, it brings me joy to know that my Lord is teaching me to be less like myself and more like Him by mercifully opening my eyes to what He sees in this area of my life.
Thank you, Lord.
But the fuel to a non-righteous fire runs out pretty quick unless you feed it. And I'm trying pretty hard right now to be fueled by God alone, so the fire of the anger is dying, and I'm graciously receiving God's perspective on the situation. Which, naturally, makes me ashamed (as it always should) but also I'm finding joy in learning and growing and becoming less like me and more like Him.
So, like I said, I got let down pretty hard. And I blamed him and was mad at him for it. I heard this message a couple weeks ago at our college Walk (see blog entitled You are the Light...) and I took a lot away from it. But as I sat in my room and thought about this, God opened my eyes and reminded me of that message, and my ears heard it a little differently this time. Or I guess I should say I heard it more completely.
Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
And taking a look at myself, my life, and what I've learned in the course of this bitter disappointment... I realized that God has shown me a lot about... me. And it's quite clear to me that I am just now reaping from something I've sown... and watered... and tended... throughout my life.
And even in realizing I'm reaping the harvest of my own seeds, I asked myself, is it not justifiable anger? Would God not be mad at someone hurting me? Would God not expect more from a Christian man, just as I would?
Romans 14:4 convicted me of asking this series of questions. This is actually a passage speaking on the strong versus the weak in faith. But looking at it as an illustration, you can see that the point is also taken that everyone is in a different place in their faith and in their relationship with Christ. So the question to ask myself then was, who is Morgan to have expectations of another follower of Christ? Only God has those expectations, and it is not my place to say whether anything should be expected of anyone. All I have to know is that God has accepted all His children who believe, and the Lord will make them all stand, because He is able.
Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
So how can I be mad at someone else whom the Lord has already accepted and loves? I cannot hold anything against him. And how can I be justifiably angry when I am reaping what I know I have sown? I cannot, because I believe in God's word and I know they are the seeds that I have planted. It is motivation to plant new seeds in my life. In order to reap a better, sweeter, more God-glorifying harvest next time. And lastly, it brings me joy to know that my Lord is teaching me to be less like myself and more like Him by mercifully opening my eyes to what He sees in this area of my life.
Thank you, Lord.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The Discipline of Hearing
"Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops." Matthew 10:27
Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and God puts us into "the shadow of His hand" until we learn to hear Him (Isaiah 49:2 ). "Whatever I tell you in the dark. . ."— pay attention when God puts you into darkness, and keep your mouth closed while you are there. Are you in the dark right now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? If so, then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will speak while in the wrong mood— darkness is the time to listen. Don’t talk to other people about it; don’t read books to find out the reason for the darkness; just listen and obey. If you talk to other people, you cannot hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else once you are back in the light.
After every time of darkness, we should experience a mixture of delight and humiliation. If there is only delight, I question whether we have really heard God at all. We should experience delight for having heard God speak, but mostly humiliation for having taken so long to hear Him! Then we will exclaim, "How slow I have been to listen and understand what God has been telling me!" And yet God has been saying it for days and even weeks. But once you hear Him, He gives you the gift of humiliation, which brings a softness of heart— a gift that will always cause you to listen to God now.
This is today's devotional from My Utmost for His Highest. I read it pretty much every day and God has spoken to me through it several times because it is so thought-provoking. It really causes me to dig deeper into scripture to search for truth in what Chambers is saying, and it almost always applies to me -- if not at present, I find myself looking back and remembering what was written. Normally I wouldn't want to just slap up here someone else's thoughts because this is supposed to be the perspective that God reveals to me each day, but this devotional just shouted from the rooftops right into my ear today, and I couldn't hold back.
Going along with what I've talked about the past two days, I've always been one to spazz out when I can't hear God's voice. So I seek Godly counsel from friends or pastors or mentors. I mean, makes sense! Right?
But this is exactly what God has been laying on my heart this month. In the silence, be still and wait. Stop filling my head with what everyone else is saying, cause then I can't sit quietly and I can't hear God when He's ready to speak. There's nothing wrong with silence, darkness, a period of waiting. And that's where I am now. That doesn't mean I'm waiting and doing nothing, but I will wait and listen and worship, praise, and serve Him. (Ooooh like that song I like so much!) But I will calm down and wait for Him to teach me to listen. And then to speak.
That's one reason why I've been taking this month to focus on Him. Not on other people. Not on me. And not to continually ask Him what's next. He knows my heart desires Him, and when He is ready and He knows that I am willing, He will speak to me and call on me.
That's not to say that He doesn't speak to me daily, because clearly He does. I mean when I'm looking for decisions, answers, direction... the next step. Sometimes we feel like God isn't speaking to us specifically on those things we want and think we need to hear about immediately! At least that's how I feel sometimes. And right now I'm learning to slow down and discipline myself to listen to God now.
Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and God puts us into "the shadow of His hand" until we learn to hear Him (Isaiah 49:2 ). "Whatever I tell you in the dark. . ."— pay attention when God puts you into darkness, and keep your mouth closed while you are there. Are you in the dark right now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? If so, then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will speak while in the wrong mood— darkness is the time to listen. Don’t talk to other people about it; don’t read books to find out the reason for the darkness; just listen and obey. If you talk to other people, you cannot hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else once you are back in the light.
After every time of darkness, we should experience a mixture of delight and humiliation. If there is only delight, I question whether we have really heard God at all. We should experience delight for having heard God speak, but mostly humiliation for having taken so long to hear Him! Then we will exclaim, "How slow I have been to listen and understand what God has been telling me!" And yet God has been saying it for days and even weeks. But once you hear Him, He gives you the gift of humiliation, which brings a softness of heart— a gift that will always cause you to listen to God now.
This is today's devotional from My Utmost for His Highest. I read it pretty much every day and God has spoken to me through it several times because it is so thought-provoking. It really causes me to dig deeper into scripture to search for truth in what Chambers is saying, and it almost always applies to me -- if not at present, I find myself looking back and remembering what was written. Normally I wouldn't want to just slap up here someone else's thoughts because this is supposed to be the perspective that God reveals to me each day, but this devotional just shouted from the rooftops right into my ear today, and I couldn't hold back.
Going along with what I've talked about the past two days, I've always been one to spazz out when I can't hear God's voice. So I seek Godly counsel from friends or pastors or mentors. I mean, makes sense! Right?
But this is exactly what God has been laying on my heart this month. In the silence, be still and wait. Stop filling my head with what everyone else is saying, cause then I can't sit quietly and I can't hear God when He's ready to speak. There's nothing wrong with silence, darkness, a period of waiting. And that's where I am now. That doesn't mean I'm waiting and doing nothing, but I will wait and listen and worship, praise, and serve Him. (Ooooh like that song I like so much!) But I will calm down and wait for Him to teach me to listen. And then to speak.
That's one reason why I've been taking this month to focus on Him. Not on other people. Not on me. And not to continually ask Him what's next. He knows my heart desires Him, and when He is ready and He knows that I am willing, He will speak to me and call on me.
That's not to say that He doesn't speak to me daily, because clearly He does. I mean when I'm looking for decisions, answers, direction... the next step. Sometimes we feel like God isn't speaking to us specifically on those things we want and think we need to hear about immediately! At least that's how I feel sometimes. And right now I'm learning to slow down and discipline myself to listen to God now.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Godly Counsel: Part 2
I want to clarify and deepen my thoughts a little on yesterday's posting in regard to hearing God's counsel.
I think God speaks to us in many ways...
I think the problem is when we seek others' advice in place of God's. I know I'm guilty of this. I'll ask a couple of my closest friends what I should do, where I should go, or what I should say before I've asked God. Or before I've waited to hear God's response. Then I've got all this advice from my friends bouncing around in my head -- and it's usually good advice, mind you! -- so I'll take their advice without the go-ahead from my Father. And the problem is I'm putting their advice before God's message to me.
I don't doubt that when we're praying to God about something, He often sends people into our lives to answer those prayers. It's also very important to seek out the wisdom of other believers in difficult times, etc. I'm only saying that I personally have learned that it's important to search my heart when I'm seeking His will, and make sure that when I also seek Godly counsel from friends, I'm seeking it from Him first. In that way, I don't put my friends as idols above my Lord. If I've already been on my knees talking to God about it, I'll be able to discern if what my friends are saying is the same as what God wants or wills me to do or say.
I think God speaks to us in many ways...
- the Bible -- His written Word
- Creation
- circumstances
- other people
I think the problem is when we seek others' advice in place of God's. I know I'm guilty of this. I'll ask a couple of my closest friends what I should do, where I should go, or what I should say before I've asked God. Or before I've waited to hear God's response. Then I've got all this advice from my friends bouncing around in my head -- and it's usually good advice, mind you! -- so I'll take their advice without the go-ahead from my Father. And the problem is I'm putting their advice before God's message to me.
I don't doubt that when we're praying to God about something, He often sends people into our lives to answer those prayers. It's also very important to seek out the wisdom of other believers in difficult times, etc. I'm only saying that I personally have learned that it's important to search my heart when I'm seeking His will, and make sure that when I also seek Godly counsel from friends, I'm seeking it from Him first. In that way, I don't put my friends as idols above my Lord. If I've already been on my knees talking to God about it, I'll be able to discern if what my friends are saying is the same as what God wants or wills me to do or say.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)